It’s no surprise that being approved for adoption, reading profiles of nearly 100 kids that are waiting for families, and meeting our girls* has increased the number of times each day I think about how our life will soon be changing.
Just to be honest here (and for the sake of actually documenting this journey) I’m specifically talking about our girls.* I could tell you that I’m thinking generally of what it will be like to add children to our home. Children that will eventually call me Mom. Children that will be at my house every night of the week and at every Saturday morning breakfast table. Children whose parent/teacher conferences I will attend. Children whose Christmas stockings need to be made to match the others.
But what I’m really imagining, is life with three teenage boys and three little girls and raising them with the man I love.
When I wake up in the morning I wonder what they like to eat for breakfast. I wonder if they are hard to get out of bed. Do they lay out their clothes the night before? Do they hate having their long hair brushed out? Will I pack a lunch for them each day? Will they think the notes on the napkins are sweet or embarrassing? How many mornings will I go to work late because I want to be home when they get on the bus? When will it feel okay to leave them here with their daddy to see them off while I drive away?
Will they have sweet teachers? Will she understand how hard this transition is for them? Will they make new friends quickly? What about the family tree assignment? Do they have baby pictures for the “All About Me” bulletin board? How hard will it be to get a new family, a new church and a new school? Can we do anything to make it easier?
How will I manage to keep up with 6 kids’ homework each night and cook a healthy dinner and spend time alone with Rob? Should we buy a deep freeze now? Maybe I should cook once a month and freeze everything so dinner is a breeze? Does she like broccoli as much as the boys do? Will she cry when I put it on her plate? Will I make her try it anyway? When will we buy the table big enough for all 8 of us to sit together?
What will they think of our church(es)? What are they used to? Will I still be able to attend FBC and St. Benedict’s every week? Have they ever been to mass? Have they been baptized? When should they go to Sunday School? How will I be outside of 3 classrooms at the same time for dismissal? Will they be worried if I’m not there right away? Will I?
The oldest likes Hannah Montana. Should I tell her I learned the Hoedown Throwdown with my co-workers last month? The middle wants to have a home with animals. Will she play in the yard with Louis? Will I play in the yard with Louis? The youngest likes going to church and her favorite music is rock and roll & Christian. Does that mean she’ll want to borrow my iPhone?
What did they do this weekend? Are they celebrating Halloween? Do they brush their teeth?
How long will I sit outside their bedroom door the first night they sleep here?
Will they crawl in bed to watch movies with me on a Friday night while their dad and brothers are gone to football games?
Does their heart pound…do their eyes become misty….is it hard to think about anything else? One day, will we all talk about these moments? Our last moments of a life apart from one another. These days leading up to our new life together. This time…when God was preparing each of our 8 hearts, in our separate homes…to become one family. I hope so. I hope we will talk about it together. Because it will mean that we are together.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
*I continue to use the term our girls knowing full well that they are not yet ours. I also (even given the nature of this particular post) know that they may very well be someone else’s girls. Someone else may bring them into their home. Someone else may be their family. God only knows the plans for these girls. But I do know that we love them and we want them, and until God tells us something different…I’m going to go right on planning life with them. In the meantime, let’s all be prayerful that they are united with their forever family as soon as possible. Pray for their hearts, pray for their transition, pray for wisdom for their caseworker. And pray for us as we prepare our home and our hearts for the children God has planned for us…And praise God for these girls, because at the minimum, their story started us on this journey. We will bring children into our home forever because of these three girls. And they may never even know it. God bless them.