Hello…It’s me…I’ve been wondering

Wondering exactly how/when/if I should fire up the ol’ blog. I like writing and sharing and documenting.  I have a million thoughts and ideas. I am also easily distracted and/or interrupted.  And busy.

But today, I’m just jumping in with the writing and not really organizing my thoughts. Perhaps I’ll see if this reaches anyone out there on the internets. I’ve never had a massive audience, but when you write a post every year or so…the crowd tends to thin out.  Feel free to leave a little comment so I know who’s out there!

For a long while now, I have felt the need to abandon Facebook.  It kinda wastes my time.  A lot.  And frankly, I don’t have a lot of time to waste.  Also, self-discipline is not one of my strengths.  So while I’d like to be the person who just checks Facebook once or twice a day, that’s not me.  Self-discipline is part of it, but I’ve also realized I am an abstainer not a moderator. (source: Gretchen Rubin) I will work out every day at 5:00 a.m. or zero days.  I will eat vegan and no sugar or I will stop at McDonald’s every time I see it.  I will be infertile and have no one call me mom or I will fill my house with small children…ha! I think I might be able to survive by using the Facebook Groups App and Facebook Messenger.  But actual Facebook and I need to take a break.  Soon.  Today?  Maybe.

I have five main reasons to spend less time looking at screens and more time looking at faces.  My kids need me.  I have committed to educating them at home.  There are a few reasons why we decided to homeschool. And lest you think I’m a saintly mother that never looks longingly at the school bus driving by, I have considered (more than once) sending my kids to public school.  However, when I’m honest with myself the very top reason for homeschooling is because I believe I can be the very best teacher for my children.  (Emphasis on I can be, not I am) I have a degree and 13 years of teaching experience before coming home to be with my kids.  Plus, I love them the most.  More practically, they would never get the individual attention in a public school setting that I can provide to them at home.

Now before you judge me for bragging about how awesome I am, let me remind you that I said I can be the best teacher and I can give them more attention that a public (or private) school teacher.  I didn’t say that I am.  Yet.  I really and truly believe I can, that’s what keeps me doing this.  I just know that I am not currently functioning at my optimal potential as their teacher/mom.  Facebook doesn’t have to take all the blame, but it gets a pretty big chunk.  It’s high scorer for stealing my focus.

Most of the time I don’t get too worked up about my low scores on my (self scoring) performance evaluation.  We’ve admittedly got a lot going on around here.  But **news flash** we are always going to have a lot going on around here.  There’s a lot of us and life will always be busy and full of adventure of one kind or another.  So, it’s time for me to buckle up and embrace the chaos as I educate my darlings.

And speaking of the darlings, the irony is not lost on me that I have traded one screen for another this morning as they march around the house leaving a trail of messes and evidence of imagination. This blog that I opened up turned into a declaration of my imminent uncoupling with Facebook, and that feels good. (Except I’m for sure about to post this to Facebook…but THEN, I’ll tend to my children. Promise.)

Stay tuned.  I have a feeling I’m gonna stick around this time.

There is no title

So, writing helps me process my stuff. And sometimes that comes in the form of mega texting sessions to my small group of friends from church.  And in Facebook messenger with my sisters. Or sometimes it develops in too-long Facebook updates and Instagram captions.  Perhaps I should just keep an old fashioned (but on a computer) journal.  Because it seems as though I have yet to manage to regularly carve out time to actually write a blog.  Not even a well thought out awesome blog.  Just a simple blog.  But today, today I have time.  And here I am.

Most people who read (or at least those that are still around) my blog are people I know in real life and they know what’s been going on lately.  So I don’t need to rehash all of the details, but I’ll do a quick recap.

Short version: My husband had his left leg amputated below the knee on August 1.  The past three weeks have been a crazy blur of nights in the hospital, arranging childcare, accepting awesome help, and settling into a routine of having Rob back at home.  Overall, his recovery is going well.  Today he started hyperbaric chamber treatment to expedite the healing of his incision. He cannot be fitted for a prosthetic until the incision is completely healed.  Right now he’s doing a great job of adjusting to life on crutches, which is not all that awesome.  But, we look forward with hope to the day he will be back to normal with a prosthetic leg, or “robot leg” according to the kids.  So we’ll do whatever is needed to help that healing process along.  Hyperbaric is generally from 6:00-9:00 in the morning…which means I am sitting at Starbucks with coffee and technology.  My kids will wake up to big brother sleeping on the couch and their breakfast prepped by mama.  I have other help this week with chauffeuring the mister and caring for the kiddos.  But for today, I am here and enjoying some early morning “me time.”

So.

In other news…

-We will start our fourth year of homeschooling soon. Yikes! and Yay!
-I turn 40 in less than 12 months and I have big plans for a year of awesome. It’s already begun, I’m just delayed in documenting it.
-I have new goals for my health and weight loss.  I’m still wrapping my head around the details of it, but things are settling down (maybe?!) enough that I can give some space to taking care of myself again.
-I have rekindled (a bit literally) my love of reading.  Library, Kindle, and some combination of the two…I look forward to many more pages.
-It is finally not so crazy hot here and we can play outside!  This makes every Zerbe a happy Zerbe!

I have more writing in my head.  And I look forward to setting it free on a regular basis.  I make no promises here, but potentially I’ll return to blogging.  And soon.

 

 

 

 

Well…

It’s been over a year.  And I miss blogging.  So I’m back.

I’m obviously not going to get you all caught up on our life.  And chances are, you probably follow me on facebook, instagram or are lucky enough to know me & my crew in real life. ; )  But yes.  I like to write my thoughts.  And share my thoughts.  And read your thoughts on my thoughts.  So here I am.

Specifically I am sitting in my living room, typing on my laptop, while listening to Gregorian Chant on Pandora via my husband’s headphones.  He was so gracious to offer to watch a movie with the kids in our room tonight so I could have some quiet time.   But apparently 80% of them were not big fans of the movie.  And they are driving fire trucks, ambulances and a newly acquired pokemon on wheels in my living room.  The Gregorian Chant drowns out their noise and keeps me from losing my mind when they decide the siren on the fire truck isn’t quite loud enough and they decide to supplement with their own sound effects.

My babies, who were all under 5 back when I was writing semi-reguarly, are now almost 9, 8, & 7…and I can’t seem to wrap my brain around that.  So, maybe we’ll get back to that topic another time.

We are one week out from Christmas and I have exactly zero presents wrapped and under the tree.  And not many more purchased.  I likely need to remedy that soon and thank the good Lord for Amazon Prime 2 day shipping.  I got LOTS of time!

This blog post interupted by a sick kid.  FYI: One kid was sick on Monday, one on Wednesday and now one on Friday. And…if you’ve been with me for the long haul and remember my code names for my kids…Monday was sick on Monday, Friday was sick on Wednesday and now Wednesday is sick on Friday.  Let’s hope Tuesday & Thursday don’t play this game.

I’ll leave you with this random photo of my kids making reindeer food last weekend at Santa’s Workshop at St Benedicts.  More pics to come, more words to come.  Pinky promise.

Laps for Little Ones

I am using transformation Tuesday as an opportunity to share about my next run. It’s a great opportunity to make a difference.

Before I came home to teach my kids, I taught at the best school in the world, the Little Light House in Tulsa, OK. I am blessed to remain on staff and help coordinate a monthly class for children on the waiting list. Because of the unique opportunities at LLH, there are more children needing services than we have space available. The current wait averages two and a half years. That time is critical as early intervention is so important for these precious kids.

The Little Light House provides state of the art educational and therapeutic services for infants and children with special needs. Dedicated teachers, therapists & associate teachers spend their days enriching the lives of students & families. And then, the two especially unique qualities of LLH? It’s a private, Christian school. It’s tuition-free. There is no government funding and it is not a United Way agency. Every dollar needed for operating expenses (including salaries, utilities, special equipment, building repairs, etc) is donated. There are big corporate and foundation donors. But really, the heart of the funding comes from dedicated individuals who are faithful to support the mission. Every day checks arrive in the mail, some from individuals who have supported LLH since is beginning over 40 years ago.

The Little Light House also holds four annual fundraisers. This Saturday, my 5 kids and I will participate in Laps for Little Ones. Runners (and walkers) will spend an hour doing laps around the track at Cascia Hall, raising money for little ones at LLH. Would you consider supporting us? Honestly, no amount is too small. It has been the faithful $5, $10, $25 checks arriving in the mail for the past 40 years that have kept the doors open. Please consider giving what you can.

My friends and family have been so great to support my work at LLH and now I am happy to include my children in that example of giving. They also watch what I do to stay healthy and I’m excited to have them out on the track with me. They’ve been a great team of cheerleaders for my past races and we’d love for you to be a part of our special event on Saturday. More information about LLH (fundraising, volunteering, building expansion, etc) can be found at www.littlelighthouse.org

Click here to donate to our Laps fund.

Pardon me…can you spare a dollar*?

(I miss writing. I’ve been reading some good stuff, which makes me want to write. But I have yet to master mommy time management. Soon? I’ll try!!)

Just a quick plea for $1* That’s all. I’m running a half marathon in OKC in less than 2 weeks and I’d love to have some green laces. I can earn my laces by fundraising for the OKC Memorial Fund. Wanna help? I’m just asking for $1* That’s it.

EDIT: apparently the minimum donation is $10. So maybe I’m really asking for $10…or you can ask 9 friends to pitch in. Thanks : )

Click below to go to my donation page.

Half Crazy

Thankyouverymuch.

The real deal

I have two draft posts saved and one I’ve been penning in my head for nearly 3 weeks. Somehow I cannot manage to tidy them up and hit publish.

So this morning I am celebrating the first warm morning of the year and the fact that we made it outside by 9:00, with a backyard blog.

Some randomness about this week…

Monday was fabulous because Rob had the day off. We crossed off two dentist appts and two grocery stores, plus I worked out in the evening. We also ended up with all 8 kids home for dinner. I like having all 10 of us under the same roof.

I played in a trivia contest with three of my siblings & my dad on Tuesday night. We got second place and I didn’t crawl into bed until almost 2 am. I. Am. Wild.

I’ve been doing decent on my weekend long runs, but have been in the bad habit of skipping shorter runs during the week. Due to Tuesday’s late night, I skipped my early morning workout on Wednesday and opted for an evening run instead. I just went two miles since I didn’t want to be gone long. I made them “quick” miles so I could push myself a little. If the weather cooperates, I’ll go 4 miles tonight.

We are heading to my parents’ house for the weekend. I always love going home. We’ll be gone part of Saturday to a visit with the kids’ biological parents, but otherwise we’ll get to just be there without much of a schedule. Of course there will be countless stories read by Grandma & Grandpa, lots of playtime in the basement and outside if we’re lucky. Other than that, I hope to visit my grandpa, run at least 6 miles and have a chance for the kids to play with their cousins.

We might be back to cooler weather next week, so we’re embracing the outdoors while we can. A new playground that is almost as exciting as the dirt pile and plenty of requests to ride bikes….endless fun!!

Happy Spring everyone!

Sort of a boring post without pictures except…

I’ve lost 102 pounds!!! And so that is not boring at all.

And now I’ll apologize for the boring parts. Because while I had intended a post with before/after pictures and spilled out thoughts about my weight loss journey. But there are no pictures and minimal thoughts to be shared tonight. We’ve had a fun St. Patrick’s Day…with green eggs & ham for breakfast, leprechaun lunches and green play dough. I’d like to promise a better update tomorrow…but it looks busy, too. So…less than a promise that I’ll have a better update tomorrow, k?

For now…I’ll say that I was pleasantly surprised to step on the scale this morning and discover that I had lost 9 pounds since I last officially weighed in (Friday, March 7). I had peeked at the scale last Wednesday because it had been one week since I began my Lenten fast from meat, dairy and sugar. I was curious to see how I was doing, although I typically do not weigh more than once a week. I was down about 5 pounds, putting me 2 pounds away from my 100 pound goal.

Unfortunately (fortunately?!) I was hit with a terrible stomach bug late Thursday night and I had to miss my official weigh in on Friday morning. And then…I had a crazy toothache/infected gum issue on Saturday/Sunday. Tummy bug plus toothache equals…major weight loss goal met!! Ha!!

And no, actually…2 pounds past my milestone. So I met my goal of 100 pounds lost and those other 2 pounds are just icing on the cake hummus on the carrot!

It is super fun to be able to say I’ve lost over ONE HUNDRED pounds. Of course that means I was overweight by more than one hundred pounds, too…which is not so fun. But I don’t tend to dwell on a negative past.

I’m proud of where I am today, how I’ve gotten here and where I’m headed. And I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow(ish)

Thanks for all the love & support you send to me…faithful family & friend blogreaders. And the internet strangers that happen upon my blog for one reason or another, I’m glad you’re here, too. Thanks for being my audience and cheering me on just by reading my words and liking my posts!

Pictures soon, pinky promise!!

waiting on 100, what we’re eating, what we’re learning…posted!

1. I’m pretty sure I neglected to mention that I gained a couple of pounds last week. I’ll blame it on hurting my knee resulting in lower intensity workouts and no running. Oh, and then not adjusting my calorie intake to account for that lack of activity. I was back down a half pound (which is kind of staying the same, right?) this past Friday. I wasn’t expecting anything spectacular. In the preceding week I had spent a long weekend at my parents’ house, which included one really fabulous cheat day and then a few days of some decent self control. And then I had Fat Tuesday…which was yummy. Since Wednesday, I’ve been really good at sticking to my Lenten fast (no meat, dairy or sugar)…but a few days of eating healthy plus two cheat days just isn’t enough for weight loss. HOWEVER, minus a couple of slip ups…I’ve been following my self-imposed rules for Lent, which results in no cheat days or even any real cheat meals. Plus, my knee is much better…I’ve done a couple of runs and don’t have to modify near as many exercises at the gym. I’m looking forward to Friday’s weigh in to see how close I am (again!) to the 100 mark. Ready to blow past it!!

2. I’ve managed to make it five (and a half!) days of no meat and no dairy…but I did end up with a little sugar intake. Not a single bite of grilled cheese sandwich or pizza or Italian chicken sandwich. No brownie bites or m&m’s or Oreos. (Yes, these are all things I brought into my house voluntarily this week!) The sugar happened because the almond milk we had contained evaporated cane juice in it (see also: sugar). I have since replaced it with unsweetened almond milk, which mostly contains almonds and a few other things. Someday I may attempt to make my own almond milk…but we’ll see! I also ate pita from Zoe’s Kitchen last night. It was soooo good. I’m not positive it contained sugar, but most breads do. Oh, and I was excited that while my kids Veggie Straws do contain sugar, pretzels do not. Until I read the label again and saw corn syrup listed. Boo. And finally, I found a great vegan pumpkin muffin recipe. I made it this morning for the kids and myself. It called for 1/2 cup brown sugar and I substituted with baking stevia, which actually includes some sugar. I will probably play around with the recipe a little bit and see what I use to replace sugar totally. You can find the recipe here. I subbed whole wheat flour for the white flour and used quinoa flakes instead of oats. I cooked the apples in coconut oil. Everything turned out delicious. The cooked apples were really a treat. I think I’ll try them in other muffin recipes and will probably switch to cooking in just water instead of oil.

3. I do a letter of the week curriculum with my kids. Found here. Some weeks are filled with activities and some…are not. We’re doing a little better sticking to a routine these days. I have a lot of fun with the kids when we do school activities, especially when I supplement the curriculum with my own stolen from Pinterest ideas. This week is letter P week and honestly, there are not enough days to do everything I want! We started this morning by having a picnic. (Super fun way for me to avoid clearing the kitchen table for breakfast.) We had pumpkin muffins, bananas & milk. We had planned a play date at the park, but cousin Mary wasn’t feeling up to it. And so our previously planned peanut butter & jelly sandwich picnic at the park has been postponed until this evening when we will play outside until Papa comes home. The weather should be perfect! For lunch today we made pasta salad with peppers and provolone cheese Daniel poked the plastic to open the pepper package. He was so proud! We’re also planning a pizza party, movies with popcorn, pancakes on pajama day, polish sausage, pork chops, potatoes, p’sketti, pineapple, peaches, pretzels, pudding, potato chips and pie on Friday, March 14…because I am nothing if not a math nerd. (see here if you do not happen to share this love for numbers). I hope to make some penguins (maybe by painting with potatoes?) and we’ll be learning about the plagues. I found a great site to help me incorporate bible stories in our schooling. She shares links and even lists food ideas. Click here to see what we’ll be studying this week.

4. And…my thoughts have been totally interrupted by a dying laptop battery and kids that are dying to go outside. Occupational Therapy is finished, I’m packing our picnic and we’re headed outside until sunset.

Happy Monday, friends!

Three

I was going to write a decent update tonight. But instead I had an almost 3 hour dinner with 3 friends and I went to 3 grocery stores.

So…here are a few pics from last week and maybe I’ll have more words tomorrow!!

Mickey Mouse pancakes, Olympic brownies, pizza with olives & onions. and Olympic Oreos…letter O week! Also, Dr. Suess hats with strawberries & marshmallows. And a boy in love with doing the dishes. Yay!

Day One Ramblings

(My grandmother kept a daily journal for about 30 years.  Most of her writings are about what she did that day.  It is great fun to read what she wrote on the day I was born and the day I left for college.  I can hear her voice as she writes about checking cattle with my grandpa or getting a postcard in the mail from a relative.  Sometimes I want my writing to be encouraging, funny, thought provoking.  And sometimes I just want to write about everyday life.  See below.)

So….I made it through one day of no meat, no dairy, no sugar.  It actually wasn’t too tough of a day because I was limiting my food due Ash Wednesday.  Officially Catholics (aged 14-59) are required to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.  Fasting defined as one full meal and two smaller meals (if needed) not equaling the size of one full meal.  I kept my eating light today and didn’t have to think a lot about what to eat.  I hope to plan out some meals for the next couple of weeks and stock up on a few things this weekend.  I think I am going to attempt 15 bean soup on Friday.  I’m also going to need to find some nut butter without sugar.  I have almond butter but it has added sugar.  My vegan brother gave me the name of a couple to look for or I can make some fresh almond butter at the grocery store.

I mentioned that I want to read meaningful things…today I spent time reading an actual book and a book I bought on Kindle.  It’s a bit embarrassing to admit I don’t remember the last (non-children’s) book I read.  Or at least I can’t remember reading very many of them in the last couple of years.  I’m feeling confident that I’ll make my way through several in the coming weeks. Today I began reading Clutterfree with Kids by Joshua Becker.  He writes at becomingminimalist.com and I like what I’ve read.  I’m also reading Love & Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay & Charles Fay.  If you are a parent or a teacher and you haven’t tried Love & Logic…you simply must! Visit loveandlogic.com for a quick peek at what they are about.  I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to implement more of those practices in my parenting. I hope I can be more consistent in using their tools.  Today I tried some out on Michael and he totally fell for it they worked!

We had a pretty normal day at home with a little sleeping in due to Tuesday’s (the day, not the kid) late night movie fun.  (We let the kids stay up and watch Despicable Me 2, mostly because we treated ourselves to a quiet afternoon by putting them down for naps!)  We are learning about the letter O this week, and even though we’re not totally in sync with real life events…we did make Olympic brownies today.  Which reminds me, an example of how serious I am about keeping my Lenten fasts in check…I have an open container of frosting in my refrigerator and an open bag of M&M’s in my pantry.  That is usually high temptation for me, but I feel confident I’ll keep out of them.  And frankly, if I get too tempted I’ll make Rob hide the candy and I’ll throw out the frosting!

We planned to take the kids to mass tonight. I was a little anxious about their behavior since it didn’t start until 7:00.  However, late this afternoon, Daniel got sick.  The poor kid can’t throw up because of a surgical procedure he had when he was a baby.  He can still be sick and feel sick and look sick…but he never actually throws up.  I’m not sure that’s necessarily a good thing.  Anyway, Rob ended up staying home with all five kids.  Because if I was a little anxious about behavior with Daddy right there in the pew with me…I was certainly anxious about taking any of them with me alone!  Turns out Ash Wednesday mass is about as popular as Christmas Eve mass.  I ended up parking more than two blocks away from church and sat on the floor for a while because all of the overflow chairs were full.  Super glad I didn’t have any littles with me!  So, somewhere there’s a spiritual and slightly profound post about why the church is full on an evening dedicated to the beginning of Lent…a season for returning, repentance and preparation.  It’s close to my bedtime so I’m not able to bust out anything spiritual or profound at this point.  But maybe soon.

I don’t have any specific blogging goals in mind for the next several weeks, but probably more everyday life ramblings. Hope your everyday life is splendid!